Growth

A year ago I was eating ice cream, crying, and cuddling on the couch with my roommates after saying goodbye to Daniel at the airport. Tonight, my lips are full of praise and my heart is full of joy!

It has been a long year in some ways, and a short year in others. Time always seems to do that, doesn't it? Going into the year, although I had peace about Daniel leaving, I was still unsure, afraid, doubtful, and questioning God. It just didn't make sense to me. It wasn't in my plans for my boyfriend to leave for almost two years. But reflecting back on all that has happened in this one year, I wouldn't have had it any other way! 

We have faced many struggles and battles and valleys in this year, but they've all led to growth! Growth in our understanding of God and His character, growth in our relationships with Him, in ourselves individually, and so much growth together! I am so confident that God is using this in our lives to mold us, strengthen us and prepare us for what He has planned for the rest of our lives. If things had gone my way, we would not be enjoying these blessings God has given us because of this time apart. Blessings of deeper understanding of who we are and how we relate with each other. Blessings of learning about each other and how to love each other well. Blessings of creative dates and gifts and long Skype calls. Blessings of vulnerability and depth in conversation we had not experienced before. Blessings of laughter and tears as we encourage each other to keep seeking the Lord and trusting Him for our future. 

While I miss him daily, and I know there will be more challenging times in these remaining months, I have no doubt that God will continue to grow us. To bless us and comfort us. To strengthen us. To use us and our story to bless others as we proclaim His name and His faithfulness! 

Lord, thank you for this season. Thank you for showing us more of Yourself and Your love for us. Thank you for giving us such closeness and excitement about our relationship that would not be possible without you! May we continue to trust You for our future and hope in You alone! Thank you for this wonderful plan you have for our lives. May our eyes be fixed on You, and our hearts full of praise!

Now This is Joy

Throughout the past few weeks, I've had many blog ideas rattling around in my head. Just haven't had time to write any of them! Probably shouldn't even be writing this right now, but God has been so good I just have to!

Here are a few bullet point lessons my Father has been sweetly and simultaneously speaking to me through friends' encouragements, time in the Word and messages at church:

• NOTHING is too hard for God (Jeremiah 32:17)
• Sometimes joy comes out of deep pain -- and through that you see the goodness of God and the beauty of Christ! He turns our mourning into joy! (Jeremiah 31:13-14)
• We must embrace the wilderness times in our lives (painful, difficult, trying) -- they are the most pivotal moments of our lives, causing us to rely on the Lord -- they are a gift! And as we embrace trust in those moments, that's when they make sense. We find purpose and hope in the wilderness.
• My Jesus loves me. So much. And he has given me life! (Jeremiah 31:3, Jeremiah 39:18, Jeremiah 45:5)

Can you tell I've been loving my time in Jeremiah lately? So all these lessons, they sound unrealistic, right? Oh yeah, well you can say that. It's easy to say it when life is good. Yet these lessons, these truths and promises, have come out of a couple of the hardest weeks of my life. School has been overwhelming. I have been exhausted. It's been really hard being away from Daniel. I haven't been hearing from him as much and have been missing him a lot more, especially feeling the lack of having shared experiences. It's been hard to trust God. To believe that He has a good plan for me. That He loves me, and that Daniel being 6,000 miles away is part of His perfect plan.

But my Father has been SO faithful! I am in awe. As I've sought Him and cried out to Him, He's answered. I was able to write "Daniel being gone for 21 months is a blessing!" in my journal. Sounds crazy, right? Well, it's true. It doesn't always feel good, but it is a blessing! Because I am being challenged and learning and growing, and Daniel and I have been able to keep growing in our relationship in wonderful ways!!! Yesterday, meditating on Jeremiah 45:5 was really good. Here are some of my thoughts from that time: "This is a war. A battle. But I have life, and have it to the full. I am sustained by You. You love me. You love me and You care for me. You have a wonderful plan for my life. And You're using this trial, this painful season, to draw me closer to Yourself. To wrap me in Your love. To grow me in my dependence on You. To show me that my life is not my own. It was bought at a price. And now is Yours. To be used as You will. To glorify You and proclaim You out of pain. For You are good! So good and faithful."

There is so much more I could say. Maybe it'll be in my next blog. Thanks for reading this far. Be encouraged that the Lord knows exactly what situation You are in. And He is lovingly in control. Persevere in seeking Him, for He is faithful! And He is love!