Reflections

thankful: conscious of benefit received

I like this definition. So often I forget about or don't take the time to remember what God has given me. Caught up in the busyness and stress of my next to last semester of my undergrad, I have not been conscious enough of these blessings. And I want to share them with you now! So here goes..

family: full of traditions, competitive game playing, loving encouragement, fun adventures, nerf wars, car-ride concerts and vacations. I could not be more appreciative for all of their love and support. I love pulling into our driveway and being greeted with hugs and excitement :)

friends: those near and far away, old and new, have filled my life with laughter. I am thankful for all the crazy adventures, road trips, late night conversations, tears, and constant encouragement to grow in Christ. What a blessing!

daniel: it's been almost 3 months now, and such a fun adventure! I am thankful for his sweet encouragement and care. How he always points me back to Christ and keeps Him the center of our relationship. He has been so supportive in this crazy chapter of my life, and I could not be more grateful. I am excited to continue getting to know this wonderful man of God.

long beach: what an amazing community I have been given there! I have grown so much through my experiences there and have come to appreciate it as a home away from home :) I know next year will look very different, whether I remain in LB or go somewhere else, but I will always be joyful in reflecting on the 4 years it felt like home.

God: without Him I would have none of these amazing blessings! While it is often hard for me to trust what He has planned for my future, especially next year, I have no reason to fear - it will ALWAYS be for my good. Glancing behind at His provision and guidance in the past, I have confidence in moving forward into whatever He has for me. While everything around me changes, He remains the same. What a great comfort and reason to celebrate! Thank you, Father. May I continue to sing your praise.

"The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." 

- Zephaniah 3:17

The Gold Clock

Tonight was the first night of our freshman Bible study I am co-leading with my friend Natalie. 3 freshman joined us tonight and we had a great time answering fun questions, sharing stories, eating candy, laughing and praying together. I am so excited for this semester, and all that God has in store for these girls! They were all so eager to share with each other and really grow in their relationship with God this semester, and excited for what He is going to teach them! It was so encouraging to see.

After we prayed to close the night, one of the girls shared with us that she saw an image while we were praying of a gold clock, with a pendulum ticking back and forth. She said she felt like God was saying how important our time as a group is. That it is golden, and we should be treasuring it this semester.
I am so excited to get to know these beautiful ladies!

This night also brought me back to my freshman year, as I sat in that same room, meeting the girls I would get to know and love, and my wonderful Bible study leader. It is so amazing to me that I am now in that same position Alissa was. A senior, preparing to graduate. And so different from the quiet, shy, insecure freshman from four years ago.

As I shared my testimony with these girls tonight, it was wonderful to reflect on all that God has done in my life. How incredibly faithful He has been and will continue to be. How the hard times have also brought about the most lessons and growth. And how He has broken and molded my heart so that I now have desires to do things, go places and love people I never would have imagined!
Isn't God AMAZING?!

Love is a Good Thing

Laura and I at Pike's Peak

We are definitely coming to the end of our time here in Colorado, and my emotions are reflecting it! We took my dear sister Laura to the airport early this morning so she could go to her friend's wedding. I have had so many wonderful memories with her. She brings so much life and joy to us, and has great depth and wisdom. She has been such a great encouragement to me and everyone else here!

The Fab Four - me, Laura, Kelsey and Lauren

Her departure today will be deeply felt, especially by the four of us. God blessed us so much by bringing us together and really deepening our friendships. I have learned and shared so much with these wonderful ladies, and will miss them greatly!

I really don't like the end of things, saying goodbyes. Especially now. During these 2 months I have been able to form such deep friendships and it is so hard to leave, not knowing when/if we will see each other again!

I just love her! 

While it is difficult, I am also reminded of how blessed I am. The fact that    it is so painful is a really great thing! It shows how much we were able to share and live out authentically together. A couple nights ago my team finished Bible study early and as I sat and waited for these three girls to come home, it just felt so normal. They are my sisters, and I want to be with them all the time, even if it is just laying on their bed listening to music, or sitting in the living room or outside working on different things. The important thing is that we're together! What a gift, to have such depth and comfort after just 2 months!

Our favorite spot, especially in thunderstorms!

As we talked (I cried) about this, Laura played a song for me. We discovered our mutual love for Andrew Peterson, and have enjoyed listening to him together. Well, she played Love is a Good Thing and it is just so true. While it is hard, love is such a good thing. Even when it "wears you down til your heart just breaks", it's a good thing. The fact that I keep crying myself to sleep as we get closer to departing to our own states/countries is a good thing. God has given us a great capacity to love, and it is wonderful to see it lived out in such a beautiful way. What an amazing thing it is to reflect His love and experience it so sweetly with my sisters!

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." - John 13:34-35

I Hear it in the Thunder and the Rain

You probably already know this, but if you didn't...I LOVE the rain. That has been a really fun part of being here, the afternoon/evening thunderstorms that happen almost every day. There is a little log cabin called the General Store that has a lovely porch, a perfect place to sit in shelter from the rain and still enjoy the full beauty of the storm.

On Sunday I sat there, praising God for all the things I love about the rain falling around me. I love the pitter-patter as it hits the building, and the slight difference you can hear as it hits the grass and leaves of the trees nearby. I love how it dances in the street. How the thunder travels across the sky, rumbling as it moves along with the brilliant flashes of light accompanying it.

I love the promise in Isaiah 55:10-11, "As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: it will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." What God speaks to me is like the rain soaking into the ground and nourishing it. A few weeks ago I sat outside and let the rain pour down on me until I was soaked. I want to treat God's Word like that. Soaking it in, cherishing it, really feeling it as it falls on me. Trusting His purposes.

Also, sometimes I can't see the rain as it falls. The way the light is shining can trick my eyes. But if I look to the side, or shift my focus, I can see it. Just like sometimes, I can't see what God is doing, I'm not hearing what He is saying. But His word is still going forth. He is still accomplishing what He desires in my life.

Sometimes I will know it, feel it as it pours over me. Sometimes I won't be able to see it or understand it. But at all times: I know that God is with me, He is actively moving towards His purposes in my life, and He is showering me with blessings. 

Standing in the Gap

I'm here in Colorado Springs, with a little over 2 weeks left in the Global Student Program with Navs. Things God has been revealing to me lately have inspired me to start this blog. I've considered starting one for a while, but recent lessons have encouraged me to step out and share the amazing things God is teaching me with all of you. 


God has really been showing me more of His love for the nations since being here, and has burdened my heart specifically for Muslim people. This new passion shocked me at first; definitely not what I was expecting from this summer. But upon reflecting and processing it, I can see how God has led up to this time and has been preparing my heart, and I want to share that with you.


My second year at Long Beach, before deciding to go to Russia, I really considered going to Bangladesh: a predominantly Muslim country. When my friends Alicia and Justin returned from their trip that summer to the Middle East, their stories of what God was doing brought me to tears. The speaker at our Nav conference was a missionary in the Middle East. Some Muslim students started coming to our Nav events towards the end of last semester. And I had been praying for my friends on this summer's Middle East trip in the weeks leading up to the night that changed my heart. 


Dr. Nabeel Jabbour, a Christian from the Middle East, came and spoke to us at our evening meeting and morning seminar. He spoke about Islam and the Muslim worldview and how to reach out to them. One verse that really stood out to me was Ezekiel 22:30, "I looked for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it, but I found none." Then he challenged us to pray for God to connect us with a Muslim, and to stand in the gap for Muslims until God gives us a different calling. The whole time he was talking, describing these people, telling stories, challenging us, God was really opening my heart up to these people who are so often misunderstood, judged, and mistreated.
  
I am so excited for all the possibilities that lie ahead, and how God will continue shaping my heart to reach out to Muslims. To be bold and wise in sharing with them who Jesus is, and the great joy He offers them. For now, that looks like praying for them and learning about them so I can love them well and enter into their culture. 


"I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings." 
- 1 Corinthians 9:22-23