Blessings

The past few days have been very emotional for me. God has been really challenging me to trust Him in so many areas of my life. It has been hard to hear Him asking me to stay. To remain where He has placed me, to pursue grad school, when my heart is crying out to go!

At EDGE Preview this weekend, there was a lot of time to think about the future and what God is calling me to do. Which was hard. But in worship, singing Living For Your Glory, I realized that every time I have sung these words before, in the back of my mind it has always meant, "Lord, take my life.. take me wherever you want.. take me overseas to live for your glory.. I'm willing to go" NOT what it should be: "Lord, take my life.. all of it.. and use me wherever you send me. Even if that means staying in California and going to grad school, working for a couple years. May I live for your glory in every aspect of my life, no matter where I am." I was really challenged yesterday to even more fully surrender my life.

Driving away from preview, Daniel and I were sharing more of what God was showing us during the weekend. I was tired, emotionally drained, and so aware of the struggle inside me to trust God with staying. Wondering why I'm supposed to wait, what God could have planned for these next few years...

Then it started to rain!!

Just a light sprinkling, but it came out of nowhere! There were no clouds anywhere above us. We could see some in the distance, but they were so far off and didn't look like rain clouds. It just felt like such a sweet little blessing from my Heavenly Father. I absolutely love the rain, and felt like it was God telling me, "My sweet Caitlin, I'm with you. I'm here and I see you. I know waiting is painful, but I want to bless you through it, even with all the confusion and struggles and hardships you see before you. As you trust Me, I am with you and can restore your joy if you let me. I have great things planned for you, my beloved."

Thinking about it today it reminded me of the song Blessings by Laura Story. I can't wait to see the many unique ways God will continue to bless me in the years to come!

"Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give men in exchange for you, and people in exchange for your life." - Isaiah 43:10

family

I just love my family.
I'm reminded of this a lot more when I come home, especially for the Christmas season. We have filled it with so many lovely traditions (many of which are competitions), I can't even begin to explain them all.

I love the way we spend the days around Christmas.
Christmas Eve.. the candlelight service at church, time with my mom's side of the family, It's A Wonderful Life, and all the kids crammed in one room for a fairly sleepless Night Before Christmas slumber.
Christmas morning.. waking up at 7 to the alarm to somehow pile into our parents' bed (a cozy fit with the 6 of us and our dog) to pray and read about Jesus, the rush downstairs to our stockings, exchanging gifts, Christmas breakfast. Then time to pack! And off to Grandmother's house we go.
Christmas evening through the 29th or so.. spent with my dad's side of the family. All 14 of us, smiling around the dinner table, enjoying time to relax and chat and just be with each other. And of course the craziness and competitiveness of the games to come. Werewolves was a fun one to introduce them to this year. A perfect game for us Aikenheads.

As I enjoyed these moments this year, I was struck by my love for my family. Oh, we are far from perfect, but that's what love and grace are for! I treasured the little things, this year, wondering how much longer my Christmas will be just like this one. Grandpa's jokes about dessert, Aunt Jackie's laughter, listening to my siblings' quiet breathing as I tried to fall asleep, late night conversations with Uncle Wink, Aunt Julie's delicious dinners, Grandma's fun decoration games, Grandpa's Naval War sounds, the excitement on the younger one's faces as they open the legendary Aunt Lisa and Ginny boxes, sleepy bedtime conversations with my cousin, the teasing and sharing, board games and singing, and always uproarious (or risorial as we learned this year :)) laughter that fills the house.

I have been so blessed. Their great love, support and tender care is so encouraging. Looking forward to many more wonderful memories to come :)