The past few days have been very emotional for me. God has been really challenging me to trust Him in so many areas of my life. It has been hard to hear Him asking me to stay. To remain where He has placed me, to pursue grad school, when my heart is crying out to go!
At EDGE Preview this weekend, there was a lot of time to think about the future and what God is calling me to do. Which was hard. But in worship, singing Living For Your Glory, I realized that every time I have sung these words before, in the back of my mind it has always meant, "Lord, take my life.. take me wherever you want.. take me overseas to live for your glory.. I'm willing to go" NOT what it should be: "Lord, take my life.. all of it.. and use me wherever you send me. Even if that means staying in California and going to grad school, working for a couple years. May I live for your glory in every aspect of my life, no matter where I am." I was really challenged yesterday to even more fully surrender my life.
Driving away from preview, Daniel and I were sharing more of what God was showing us during the weekend. I was tired, emotionally drained, and so aware of the struggle inside me to trust God with staying. Wondering why I'm supposed to wait, what God could have planned for these next few years...
Then it started to rain!!
Just a light sprinkling, but it came out of nowhere! There were no clouds anywhere above us. We could see some in the distance, but they were so far off and didn't look like rain clouds. It just felt like such a sweet little blessing from my Heavenly Father. I absolutely love the rain, and felt like it was God telling me, "My sweet Caitlin, I'm with you. I'm here and I see you. I know waiting is painful, but I want to bless you through it, even with all the confusion and struggles and hardships you see before you. As you trust Me, I am with you and can restore your joy if you let me. I have great things planned for you, my beloved."
Thinking about it today it reminded me of the song Blessings by Laura Story. I can't wait to see the many unique ways God will continue to bless me in the years to come!
At EDGE Preview this weekend, there was a lot of time to think about the future and what God is calling me to do. Which was hard. But in worship, singing Living For Your Glory, I realized that every time I have sung these words before, in the back of my mind it has always meant, "Lord, take my life.. take me wherever you want.. take me overseas to live for your glory.. I'm willing to go" NOT what it should be: "Lord, take my life.. all of it.. and use me wherever you send me. Even if that means staying in California and going to grad school, working for a couple years. May I live for your glory in every aspect of my life, no matter where I am." I was really challenged yesterday to even more fully surrender my life.
Driving away from preview, Daniel and I were sharing more of what God was showing us during the weekend. I was tired, emotionally drained, and so aware of the struggle inside me to trust God with staying. Wondering why I'm supposed to wait, what God could have planned for these next few years...
Then it started to rain!!
Just a light sprinkling, but it came out of nowhere! There were no clouds anywhere above us. We could see some in the distance, but they were so far off and didn't look like rain clouds. It just felt like such a sweet little blessing from my Heavenly Father. I absolutely love the rain, and felt like it was God telling me, "My sweet Caitlin, I'm with you. I'm here and I see you. I know waiting is painful, but I want to bless you through it, even with all the confusion and struggles and hardships you see before you. As you trust Me, I am with you and can restore your joy if you let me. I have great things planned for you, my beloved."
Thinking about it today it reminded me of the song Blessings by Laura Story. I can't wait to see the many unique ways God will continue to bless me in the years to come!
"Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give men in exchange for you, and people in exchange for your life." - Isaiah 43:10
Jemiel
ReplyDeletewhat a muahmera God has in store for you these next few years!
ReplyDeleteHamdulillah!!
ReplyDelete