2015 Word of the Year

For a few years now I've chosen a theme or word to focus on for the year. Kind of like a New Year's resolution, but a bit broader. I didn't do this last year, but I've been inspired to do so again. This new adventure of marriage (just 18 days in!) has got me thinking a lot. Reflecting more on my actions and how I'm loving, serving, caring for and respecting my husband. These first couple weeks have been filled with so much joy. I love spending so much time with my best friend every day! Love the sound of the keys in the door, knowing that my love has just come home :) 

Yet, I find my thoughts often wandering into insecurities about how I'm doing at filling this new role of "wife." Daniel has served, loved and cherished me so well, constantly encouraging me and validating me. Assuring me these doubts are unfounded. Yet...my mind continues to go there. When a meal isn't going as planned and ends up being served 2 hours later than I hoped for..."I don't know what I'm doing...how am I supposed to be a good wife when I can't even cook chicken?" When I look around our still messy and unorganized apartment..."I was supposed to get so much more done today...I'm failing, allowing the mess to grow." Along with insecurities, I've seen how selfish I can be. When my man is rushing to get out the door to make it to class on time, and I choose to stay in bed and only get up at the last second to give him a kiss before he walks out the door (ignoring the many times my heart prompted me to get up and make his lunch or help with breakfast). 

So, this leads me back to my word for the year. I've chosen to focus on value: the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something. I know that my value and worth is securely found in Jesus. Yet lately that's been hard to cling to. I was encouraged by Matthew 6:25-34 today. Jesus tells us to not be anxious about anything (food, clothes, our lives) because God knows all our needs and provides them. I love verse 26: "Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?" My heavenly Father finds great value in me. Whether I find value in myself in the moment or not, He does. And His is the most important opinion. So this year I want to rest in His value. As I strive to do that, I hope that I am able to more readily accept my wonderful husband's encouragement and affirmation; that I hold my thoughts/tongue when I am about to criticize myself and speak truth instead. I also want to grow in valuing others. Starting with my husband - putting him above myself. And from there, moving on to other family, friends, neighbors, coworkers.

I've also realized the need to be more thankful. Turning more quickly to praising God for things instead of complaining. So, I am joining my dear friend Joanna in the Joy Dare, using Ann Voskamp's (author of One Thousand Gifts) promptings to write down three things I'm thankful for each day for the whole year, which will result in a record of over 1,000 gifts from the Lord! What a treasure to be able to look back through that list in difficult times! So instead of complaining or putting myself down in the above examples, I'm thankful. Thankful that I have an adoring husband who puts up with my craziness, compliments the food I make and supports my cooking endeavors. I'm thankful for our messy apartment, because it speaks to our amazing friends and family and their incredible generosity towards us; we are SO blessed. And I'm thankful that right now as I wait til I start working, I have the opportunity to serve my husband by waking up when he does to help him get ready, cherishing those sweet morning moments together.

I'm excited for what I will learn about value and thankfulness in this year! Do you have a word or theme you'd like to focus on this year? Will you join the Joy Dare?