Waiting

In recent conversations, I keep telling people I'm in a season of waiting. Waiting to hear about my internship placement, waiting for Daniel to get back, waiting for new roommates, etc. And it's got me thinking about waiting. In life, there are always going to be new things to be waiting for. Waiting to graduate high school, then college, then your Master's, Ph.D., better jobs, retirement. Waiting for boyfriends/girlfriends, engagement, marriage, kids, grandkids. So in this time of waiting, I want to learn lessons about how to be waiting that I can carry with me into the things I'll be longing for in the future. 

What does waiting mean anyways? Most of the time, I think it looks like longing or pining for some event or date in the future. This can quickly lead to discontent, anxiety, worry, jealousy, and a myriad of other emotions that so detract and distract from what is happening today. So how can we wait in a healthier way, more honoring to our Father?

I think it starts by realizing that these things we're waiting for are not the end goal of our lives. When Daniel comes home, it isn't the fulfillment of my life. God has a greater purpose for our story. His return is a part of that, and this doesn't mean I am not excited for it or don't desire it. But I don't want to be waiting for that day in a way of feeling entitled or setting huge expectations on it. I don't want to be hoping in these events, because they will pass and leave me hungering for the next thing. I want to live in the present moments, with my eyes wide-open to what God has for me each day. 

Now, that won't stop me from counting down the days (because I really am so excited for him to be back!), but I hope that my heart in counting to them would be different. Instead of "21 days until Daniel comes back," I want my heart to say "21 days left of learning lessons, thriving, and enjoying this time of dating long distance. 21 days of being more available and focused with my roommates, family and friends. 21 days until Daniel and I begin the transition to figuring out what dating in the same state looks like." Because really, him simply "coming back" is NOT the main goal! The ultimate goal of my life is to be honoring and glorifying God in all of my relationships, in the way I think and act, in my heart's longings. And I am confident He has much to teach me in these next 3 weeks, and I do not want to miss that by being consumed by counting down the days. 

I want to wait differently. Not anxiously or impatiently, but waiting in the Lord, with my hope and trust deeply rooted in Him. I want to wait joyfully, expectant of the work He will do each day. That's how I want to live in between the "big" moments, so that I'm not missing all the "little" daily moments that in reality do a lot more in shaping my character and directing my steps each day. The majority of times the word "wait" is used in the Bible, it is referring to waiting for the Lord. Hoping in Him and trusting in Him. And there are great promises and blessings that come from this waiting in God. 

I was struck today by Psalm 39:7 "And now Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in You." and Psalm 62:1, 5 "For God alone my soul waits in silence; from Him comes my salvation...for God alone, oh my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from Him." I want to be waiting and hoping in those ways. Hoping in the life and salvation I have in Jesus. Waiting for Him to direct my paths and provide me with all that I need.

So my friends, in the coming days, if you see me veering from this patient waiting in the Lord to the anxious waiting for Daniel to return, please call me on it! I'm excited for what else God has to show me in these next few weeks :)